Whip Your Faux

from Heartstrings and Hamstrings by Athens Boys Choir

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lyrics

WHIP YOUR FAUX

I whip my faux to and Fro’ x 7
I whip my faux

Hop up out of bed and my hair is flat
Cause last night I was laid up on my back
But it’s morning time now, it’s a quarter to nine
Got to but my Faux Hawk up make it rise-n-shine

F-A-U-X How’d you know I like queer sex
H-A-W-K rat tail in the back makes it gay

Don’t mock, just shape the hawk
just shape the hawk, just shape the hawk
Revlon, Aveda, L’Oreal, gets my Faux Hawk rising through the middle
Go to the barber tell her “short on the sides. I’m going out to the gay bar tonight”

I whip my faux to and Fro’ x 7
I whip my faux

So the Faux Hawk means that it’s short on the sides
That it’s high in the front, that it’s funky on the fly.
If you’re thick with your crop, you can use the thinning sheers
This message is approved by at least a million Queers

I’m not hating - it looks good on every shape of face
It rises to occasions and is easy to maintain
I saw Gwen Stefani rock a Faux on a plane
Saw Rihanna hold umbrellas to protect one from the rain

So all you Mo’Fo’s. Respect the Faux-Ho
Yea you love this Faux Ho-You love this Faux Ho’
You love this Homo - Uh-oh, Here we go!

I whip my faux to and Fro’ x 7
I whip my faux

Step one, part the side so you get a guide
Then you fade with your scissors ‘till you reach that line
Step 2, When the sides are done, move on to the front
Texturize the top so you don’t get a bump.
Step 3, grab you gel and squeeze
Push up to the middle so you don’t make like Screech
Dustin Diamond from back in the 90’s
That dork with his drawers pulled up in his hiney
That guy rocked the Fro. But me, I whip the faux

I whip my faux to and Fro’ x 7
I whip my faux